Please work out. I'm really starting to fall in love with you.
Wistfully Yours,
Dear All The Stuff That I Have To Pack,
I hate you. I can't relax because I know what my obligations are towards you.
You suck,
Me
Dear Terrible Twos,
You aren't due for another six months, so why are you here? I will take your arrival as an indication that my daughter is wise beyond her months, but I'm still not thrilled about your presence here.
I just want you to know that I will beat you. No matter what it takes. I will not allow you to possess my daughter in grocery stores, restaurants, and other public places. I will win. You will see.
Your Enemy,
Me
Dear Animal Crackers,
I love you. I am sorry that I neglected you for so many years, but I realize now that looks aren't everything. So what if you are considered primarily children's food? So are chicken strips but those are delicious too. I don't care what anyone thinks anymore. You are delicious and I will keep a baggy of you wherever we go from now on. I promise.
Salivating for your touch,
Me
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