February 29, 2012

Love Songs for Daughters

My dad and I have this thing that's weird about us – we are emotional about our music. He first discovered that I was like him when I was about 11. We were driving along in his old crappy truck, listening to a Kansas cd when “Dust in the Wind” came on. I don’t know if I had ever heard it before, but this was the first time I had ever paid attention to the words.

Dust in the wind by Tamar Elizabeth on Grooveshark

“All we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see

Don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the Earth and Sky

It slips away and all your money won’t another minute buy

Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in the wind”

By the end, 11 year old me had tears rolling down my cheeks. My father looked at me and when I returned his stare I did not find the compassionate look I had hoped for. Instead he looked like he was about to laugh. I felt embarrassed and confused. Little did I know, my father had just discovered what would turn out to be one his greatest pleasures during my teenage years - sharing his favorite sad songs with me and watching me bawl appreciate them like only he did.

When I was a bit older and it started to sink in with him that his days with me in the house were numbered, a new set of songs entered into his collection. Songs about fathers loving their daughters. They became his favorite. He played them over and over again. So many times, in fact, that I knew them by heart despite the fact that he played them from his office downstairs while I spent most of my time in my bedroom upstairs. I grew quite fond of them. And in that way, they became our songs. If you listen to any of these songs, let it be the first one in this playlist. It is the sweetest song ever.

Father and Daughter by Tamar Elizabeth on Grooveshark

When it was getting close to my wedding, I would sometimes walk into his office while he was listening to one and find him blotchy faced and teary eyed.  When I told him I needed him to choose a song for our father daughter dance, he got to work looking for the perfect song to express his feelings. This is what he came up with:

 The Scientist by Tamar Elizabeth on Grooveshark

Austin and Tamar's Wedding Pictures 211

Austin and Tamar's Wedding Pictures 616

All of these songs are special to me.

I still listen to them, but not with the sadness and fear I once felt about leaving home. They have new meaning now.

nakey heidi 023-1

nakey heidi 002-1  nakey heidi 016-1

Heidi:

I’m gonna watch you shine

I’m gonna watch you grow

Gonna post a blog so you’ll always know

As long as one and one is two

There could never be a mother who loved her daughter more than I love you..

----

I hope she cherishes these heirlooms as much as we do.

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

I don't know if it's these crazy early pregnancy hormones or what but this post totally made me cry my eyes out! Love it.. I love reading your blog.

Sunny said...

What was the wedding song. It's not there in the play link anymore.

Mrs MacKenzie said...

I tried to find your email address to respond, but I couldn't! The song was "The Scientist" by Coldplay.